I wrote this at the end of this last summer, coming out of a season of incredible experiences, but in places of severe challenge; I rediscovered it today. It's basically the sum of my feelings even now.
More than anything I know
I know there's more
More depth
More intimacy
More power
More fullness
More reality
To life in You
If I but knew how to discover
How to throw out this pride in disgust
How to cast out this shame in alarm
Would I then be unhindered?
I feel so stuck
Stuck in habits I despise
Though to others they appear normal
I hate appearing normal
What can be normal about life in you?
I want my life to be marked
Marked by a difference
A presence
A submission
To one infinitely more capable than I
For alone I am utterly incapable
Of giving you the glory due your name
I fail constantly
Yet you are the only Constant
How can I constantly rely on you?
