his goodness.

God's been asking me a tough question lately. It makes me squirm. I know I could give the right answer, but would I mean it? Does my heart believe it?

His question is: "Do you believe that I am good?"

Here's the thing. I know God is good, I've known it all my life, in my head. But when things get hard and I have to give up control, do I believe it then?

He's not just asking me if He's good, He's asking me lots of other things too. Do I believe He knows my heart's desires, what's best for me (more than I do), and that He will lead me into these things? Is He trustworthy? Does He have perfect timing?

Or do I believe He's cruel? Do I believe He intentionally created me, placing my desires, my passions, in my heart, only to withhold them? Does he give me good things in life only to take them away or let them fall away without any promise of better things to come?

The truth is, I've spent significant time trying to control things in my life because I've thought I knew what's best for me. But I've surrendered. Not by choice; really, I feel quite forced into it. When you reach a point where you've put everything you've had into something and still not gotten the outcome you wanted, you realize you're not in control.

Here's the truth: God is my perfect Father. He created me, every intricate detail of me, He knows me intimately and cares about every detail of my life. He is waaaaaay more qualified to control my life than I am. Like the best dad, he won't withhold any good thing from me, his daughter.

I choose to believe this. God, you are so good.