the things he hides.

    The first thing came out of a conversation I had with a friend that I thought was just super insightful. We were talking about worship and how powerful it has been in chapel thus far this year and specifically that morning. People often comment on their amazement at the attendance of Taylor's chapel services, because unlike many Christian universities, chapel isn't required and attendance is not tracked, yet we have an abnormally high attendance rate. As we talked about how great worship was, I mentioned the fact that chapel is voluntary and that maybe that is why it is all the more passionate. This prompted my friend to share a question he'd considered in conversation before, Why doesn't Jesus just show up in front of us, like in worship, if he really wants everyone to come to him? Well, perhaps it is because then worship would not be voluntary. No faith would be required. Worship from everyone will be automatic when Christ is actually before us in his glory. This is the beauty of voluntary worship. When we choose to praise God even though he is not seen or even felt sometimes, it is evidence of our faith, and it blesses His heart!

    Also, tonight in Kingdom Life Church we talked about how worship should never be about what we get out of it, what we feel or don't feel. BUT, the awesome thing about God is that we can never out-give Him. He loves when we give from our hearts in worship to give back to us all the more :D

    More on why God "hides" certain things from us from Come to Papa by Gary Wiens: God's primary desire is intimacy with us. He has hidden most of the understanding of our own identities (who we are in Him) in His own heart. His nature is to hide precious things like hidden treasure for us to seek out, so He tells us we can find our identity by drawing near to Him, lifting our heads to "gaze upon His beauty and goodness, and then speaks to us of identity, value, and purpose" through the Spirit, establishing in us glory reflecting His own. SO God gets intimacy with us (His primary desire) while we get "knowledge we're infinitely and unconditionally loved, that our lives have meaning, that an eternal destiny of significance is our portion" (p. 22-23) - understanding of our identity! Isn't that super cool and doesn't it make so much sense!?

Wiens, Gary. Come to Papa: Encountering the Father That Jesus Knew. Grandview, MO: Burning Hearts Ministries, 2003. Print.

my father.

    After God rocked me with the whole renewing my relationship with Him as His daughter thing as I wrote about previously, one of my friends who knew about it gave me a book to read called Come to Papa by Gary Wiens. It's super hard to find time for pleasure reading here, but so far SO good.

Some things that have stuck out:

• Ephesians 1:17 "I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him..." (it goes on wonderfully)
• We can (and should) ask God to give us the Spirit to know the Father of glory more!
• God's glory: the weightiness/heaviness of His beauty, majesty, and power (p. 10) - this is what we should seek to know! Also, this is in us if we are saved in Him!

• This quote: "The presence of the Lord is addictive, and we were designed to be captured by this addiction. We were never created to live bored, dissipated lives or be satisfied with the inferior pleasures of temporary things. We were created to live an exhilarated existence, intoxicated with the beauty and goodness of God. We were meant to be captured by His heart, in love with the One who is madly in love with us" (p. 12).

 ^^ My thoughts: The Christian life isn't boring! We have been given the ability to know the source of every pleasure that exists in its purest and most glorious and fulfilling of forms. And He longs for us to know His love not just as head knowledge, but personally and experientially!

 More of Gary Wiens's thoughts:

    Jesus is to me as he was merciful and kind to Zacchaeus, gentle but pointed with me as he was with Peter and his disciples, he feels toward the unclean places in my life as he did with the leprous beggar in Mark 1 - willing to heal things that separate me from Him and from the rest of His people, he will deal with my shame mercifully and without condemnation as he did with the woman caught in adultery in John 8, and as he confronted and rebuked Pharisees and legalistic leaders this is also how he feels about my attitudes of superiority and elitism that keep me from being compassionate toward broken people (p. 18).

    Jesus is God in man form. We can learn about God's character and the way he relates to us by seeing how Jesus related with these people! SO much more could be said about this... what an awesome way to read the gospels, looking for how Jesus shows us how God sees us and wants to relate to us through his interactions with people!


Not sure the proper way to cite a book on a blog, but I'll do it like I would for a paper... :)

Wiens, Gary. Come to Papa: Encountering the Father That Jesus Knew. Grandview, MO: Burning Hearts Ministries, 2003. Print.

he speaks.

    The same night I wrote about in my last post, my first Sunday at Kingdom Life I received prayer for Original Design. What's that? Well, it's a prophetic ministry where a prayer team asks the Lord for His thoughts concerning you, His design for you upon creating you, and any words of encouragement He may have for you. It's something I have received a few times before. The first time I went for Original Design Freshman year I was pretty skeptical, thinking they'd say things to me that they could say to anyone. But let me just tell you, my skepticism turned into utter awe of the love of the Father, which is so real and so personal, and awe of the simple fact that He knows me better than anyone else and better than I know myself. He created me for specific purposes and as I seek Him, He wants to reveal those purposes and designs to me, and to each of us! This is just one way to hear from Him. (They have a handout full of their scriptural basis for this, two examples being Ephesians 2:10: "For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." and 1 Corinthians 14:3 which says "The one who prophesies speaks to people for their strengthening, encouraging and comfort.")

    If we believe God is alive and truly who scripture says He is, the same yesterday today and forever, of course He still speaks to us, and of course He wants to encourage, love, and direct us!

    Anyway, each time I have received Original Design things have been said that have been absolutely spot-on, and undeniably specific to me, my life, and my situations. This time one of the things they said was to guard my morning meetings with God in the morning, because they are powerful, He loves them, and when I meet with Him in this way He walks with me for the rest of the day. Well guess what's been a big struggle for me the past two weeks - giving God that precious time in the mornings! Yikes, I'm actually just tonight realizing the significance of this word I received 3 weeks ago, and am realizing it makes complete sense this is what Satan would attack! Of course, God is in and with me regardless of whether I set aside time for Him, but if I'm not spending time focusing on Him in the mornings, connecting with Him and giving my day over to Him, I'm not as effective for the Kingdom. It literally affects every interaction I have with people, my attitude, my mindset, everything. I can undeniably feel the difference.  Let me challenge you as I'm so challenged, don't let Satan get away with getting you to rationalize away your need for or your ability to have those precious times! And if we're not spending time with God to get to know Him and hear His voice, how do we expect to get any closer to Him?

    I also received words that have been confirmed in a few situations already this school year about what God has made my role to be in the community of believers, and even what that could look like in the future. Also, looking back over last semester and the summer I found myself in this role as well. These specific words have been given me I think each time I've had Original Design (I'm hesitant to say specifically what they are... but then again, shouldn't we recognize in each other who God created each person to be and hold them to it??)

    SO COOL. Those are just a couple examples of the ways the Lord has spoken to me through these people who are simply willing to hear His voice and pass it along for their fellow believers' encouragement. I want so much to develop this gift I firmly believe God gives to all His children of hearing His voice, it's just up to us to utilize and develop it! I think we make it waaay more complicated and intimidating than God intended for it to be... what good Father wouldn't talk to His children who seek Him?

transition

    My blog is taking a turn, just like my life. :) I am now in the middle of my fourth week back at Taylor University as a Junior and things are starting to pick up. I'm not overloaded by any means course-wise, which is really nice. In fact, I've had to check myself from getting caught in guilt for not being more busy. Here at Taylor there are unlimited opportunities for involvement in wonderful cabinets, groups, clubs, jobs, and leadership positions... I've been asked "So what leadership positions do you have? Are Chorale and Sounds your only commitments!?" There's a lot of expectation to be busy and to be involved in as much as possible.

    Here's my current life summary: International Studies major, Peace Reconciliation and Justice concentration, possibly Psych minor. Taylor Chorale and Taylor Sounds - ministries of choral music. Breuninger Hall front desk worker; hired to work catering as well. Floor worship leader, soon to help with worship at church occasionally, and hope to have a voice lesson every other week. I go to Exit 59 church (Missionary Alliance) Sunday mornings as I did last year, and have begun attending Kingdom Life Church (non-denominational, I believe) on Sunday evenings, where God has rocked me each of my 3 attendances thus far... more on that later.

  I'll say more about my regular life periodically, I am sure. But here's where I want this blog to go for now...

    One of the greatest blessings I am experiencing in this part of my life is consistent, solid, convicting, encouraging, and challenging spiritual food. Between chapel services and church services along with my personal devotional times, I feel like I am filled to overflowing with things the Lord is revealing to me about Himself and His Word. I actually have to be careful not to overstimulate in the sense that I receive so much truth that I don't end up processing or applying any of it. So I want to share some of these things on my blog. Whether with you, or for my own sake - processing now, remembering later, I'm going to try it out. :)

    It will take me some time to get out all the nuggets of truth I've received so far, but here's a bit to begin. Three Sundays ago at Kingdom Life Church the pastor, James Heth, talked about this passage:

"But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship. Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir." Galatians 4:4-7

    He began to talk about how imperfect relationships can affect our relationship with God, keeping us from seeing Him as a perfect Father with abundant love for us that we don't have to earn. He began praying and pretty soon I was in tears. Soon I had three people around me praying for me. Though they couldn't hear one another for the most part, they were all praying the same things and they were all spot-on! Definitely led by the Spirit. Pretty soon they were praying that God would break down my striving and performance because I don't earn His love and that I would stop focusing on doing, and rather focus on being, in light of my identity as His daughter. They prayed I'd know how much He delights in me and how proud of me He is; how beautiful I am to Him. They got straight to the root of my struggle with legalism even though they knew nothing about it, and I felt so strongly the personal love of the Father to communicate through them just exactly what I needed to hear! I struggle a lot with feeling His love and affirmation, so I fall into striving to live my life well enough to think I deserve it. But according to this passage (and plenty of others - I never realized how many passages talk about our sonship!) I have been adopted out of slavery and made his CHILD and HEIR. What did I do to earn this? NOTHING! I just need to learn how to receive it and live out this new identity :D

    I came away from this night so encouraged, and so in awe. It almost didn't happen - one girl going with me backed out and the other was sick in the afternoon... she came with me anyway and she felt totally fine once she was there! I'm realizing more and more that Satan will do anything to keep us from truth and freedom. I'm determined more than ever to recognize and combat his every attempt!

    There's much more to this story, but this is just a summary of the beginnings of this journey He is taking me on. Praise the Lord.