I have this testimony of God's work in me this last year, and I have to share it...
I had no plans this New Years. I was going to be home with my parents, but the desire in my heart was to spend the evening worshiping God, reflecting on the year past and praying for the year ahead. But I didn't know who would want to do it with me and whether I was up for trying to organize something like that. Well, I mentioned how I wished I could spend New Years to a girl I barely knew, and she told me I had to come with her to do just that in Kentucky. Through a series of supernatural events I went, and I spent the last week of my Christmas break in Kentucky with her, in the home of a family I had never met but who rocked me by their authenticity and unity in the Lord.
New Years Eve we went to The Barn in Louisville, built specifically for worship and ministry by a man under God's instruction. Worship NYE was from 10pm-12:30am and it also involved times of asking the Lord to show us a theme of how he worked and taught in the year past, then ask him how he wants to work in the next year.
The word that came to mind for me for God and the last year is "dynamic." I traveled and experienced a lot in the last year, and even though I didn't know how I would relate to God from one transition to the next, his constant presence never changed... As I traveled to Ireland coming off of a hugely growing and rich semester in which I was learning lots about life in the Spirit, I didn't know how that growth could keep up in a completely new environment away from the friends and fellowship I'd had who were pouring into me. Yet in Ireland God taught me in new ways, growing me greatly in freedom of worship and in both rich and difficult relationships with people around me.
Then as I trusted God for a job for the 3 weeks I was home between Ireland and Turkey, he provided one the day before I came home miraculously, and it paid really well, was very meaningful work, and enabled me to significantly help out a sister in Christ who was in over her head. That was awesome provision.
Then I went to Turkey. For the first time, I was completely alone in my faith. I didn't have family or friends. My host family were Muslims, as were 96% of the whole country. For the first time, it was just me and God. How would I continue to grow with God here? I felt it was a responsibility I had all on my shoulders. For the first time I experienced how offensive the gospel can be to unbelievers, and how arrogant it made me out to be to the world. For me to say what I believed was right when the whole country thought otherwise - and they were such good people! How could I believe this? Yet even and especially in my doubts and wrestling, God graciously met me there in a completely unique way. He led me back to the essential truth of Christ's gift of salvation and why he is the only way to God. And for the first time, this head knowledge had to make its way to my heart in order for me to share it with the people around me. God gave me more understanding of how only relationship with him can be wholly fulfilling, and that it is more than enough for me. He also taught me that when my relationship with him is breached, he is not angry; he waits patiently and eagerly for me to return to him and let him heal me back up. Repentance is something we typically dread, but why? It makes the way for right and rich relationship with the Father. It is such a beautiful gift.
My transition time back into Taylor was rough. I went from it being just me and God, constantly wrestling with why I believe what I believe, living alone as a believer constantly among unbelievers, to the complete opposite, living amongst tons of peers who all at least supposedly believe what I believe, where I wasn't having to defend my faith (to myself or others), and where I was constantly being fed and having fellowship.
But once the adjustment was made, I got involved in Kingdom Life Church which is incredible, and began to learn more about the Father's heart, that all his children can hear his voice and how to do that, and how exciting it is to be a follower of Christ! It was a semester of me learning more about how much my relationship with the Lord doesn't involve striving of any kind. I used to struggle with being legalistic about my devo times and feeling like I had to take every chance for any worship or Bible study opportunity. While those things are so great and important, it is so easy to become so overfed that I am really not processing or applying any of it at all, and to just go through the motions of devos without having true fellowship with God. I have begun to learn (not just in my head, but experientially) how relationship with God isn't segmented and structured, but rather how much freedom I have and how glorious it is to spend time with God because I want to and know I need it, how that hunger grows, and how he walks with me throughout my day into each part!
Overall, I have been amazed how God has used the circumstances of each season of this year to mold me in completely different but equally valuable ways. I am also understanding more and more that life in relationship with God is seriously an amazing adventure - nothing about it is boring! Since God created me with the desires and passions I have, he wants me to use them and will make ways for me to do so, and he will draw me nearer to himself in the process. I love to travel and try new things and live adventurously, and God loves when I travel and try new things and live adventurously, because he made me that way! The more I learn and experience with God, the more I want to learn and experience. I can wholeheartedly say that I am seriously so pumped for the future, because as long as I live I will walk with him, and as long as I walk with him life is crazy good.
Where did God take you in the past year? How did he reveal himself to you?
Have you asked him what he has for the year ahead? God told me he wants to reveal himself to me this year as my Lover, to share every moment together, to let him affirm and comfort me, and to share our deepest thoughts and desires with each other. How cool and exciting is that?!?
2014, bring it on.
